yea but why does that thing happen to your dick when you put your finger in your belly button
congradulations, you successfully confused thousands of women on tumblr
Today I learned a thing
"so how long have you been on tumblr"
*has war flashbacks to the introduction of WHAT IS AIR*
|Me:||How do you tell your children how babies are made?|
|Me:||When two people love each other very much...|
|Boyfriend:||When two people love each other very much, it sends a beam of energy into the sky called the faerghast, and that summons a magical sky wizard. The Wizard tells the two people that if they have that much love, but no baby, it will destroy the world. So the two people put all their extra love into a new baby, and that is how the world is saved.|
Last night I got drunk and wrecked my car. My new car. Want to know what happened to my old car? Take a wild guess.
I’m moving back home and putting my life on hold because, apparently, I can’t stop trying to kill myself.
happy fucking thanksgiving
I had early thanksgiving with my family this sunday and I was telling them about my meyers-briggs test, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was called. None of us could…
Mom: It’s braxton hicks.
Aunt: No, those are the false contractions you get during pregnancy.
Sister: I want to say Boson Higgs, but I know that’s not it either.
Dad: Those are those sub-atomic particle things.
Uncle: No, It’s the god particle.